One year ago today...

We were mourning the loss of our Dabney. I still don't understand all that happened that day nor why God chose this journey for us, but I am grateful every day that God is shaping my faith through this trial, that it was not suffering in vain, and that:
"Neither life nor death shall ever from the Lord his children sever; unto them his grace he showeth, and their sorrows all he knoweth...Though he giveth or he taketh, God his children ne'er forsaketh; his the loving purpose solely to preserve and make them holy." (Children of the Heavenly Father)

I recently shared with a dear friend how I have been profoundly shaken to my core (once again) with the truth of sanctification. This process that can be as painful as a "white hot fire" and yet we are commanded to hold to hope, and to respond in loving obedience worshiping our God (Phil. 2:12-13). As difficult as this is, He promises to not let us be snatched from His hand (John 10:29). I cannot help but be reminded that like a child in the womb, I am dependent on God for everything. It is He who "giveth [and] taketh" life. It is also He who strengthens us and gives us hope, that fragile, intangible thing that strengthens us to go another day, another day and on and on.
My prayer now is that I do not forget these truths He seared upon my heart through this pain, and as I reach the half-way point in my second pregnancy that my fear will be replaced with the Spirit's calm and quiet courage knowing that my God is with me always.

" And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us, we will not fear for God hath willed his truth to triumph through us. The prince of darkness grim, we tremble not for him, his rage we can endure, for lo! his doom is sure; one little word shall fell him."

-Martin Luther